Craptacular!

Today I participated in the Portland AIGA chapters 'Student Portfolio Review'. The first 80 students to sign up get the opportunity to present their portfolios to 20 industry professionals. Each of us had 4 students books to review. My assessment of most? Well I think you get the idea.



Student Number 1 This first students work had good potential, signs of emerging talent for sure. His manner of communication was somewhat lacking but understandable. His enthusiasm for what he did and what he wanted to do and learn was nothing short of contagious.

His work was above the norm although a bit predictable at times in terms of style. But I can tell he has the raw skill needed to survive and eventually thrive, he just needs to refine his craft and process. Turns out he's also from Salem so I told him if he ever needs feedback I'd be more then willing to help him out.

Student Number 2 This student was borderline marginal at best. On par with a Kinko's quality design service. His work had a somewhat amateurish flair and made me nervous about his future success. I do feel he can improve but he's a long way from even being a junior designer, more on par with grunt production artist as it stands now.

The common denominator with all his work was the obvious tool-driven design solutions. His concepts were at best half-baked and the execution and attention to detail in his work was pretty weak.

Student Number 3 The third student was absolutely craptacular! I was at a lost as to how to give him any form of positive feedback what so ever. Usually I can find something but in this case it was trying to find the lips on a chicken, they just aren't there. Frankly he should not even be considering this industry as a career. I know that sounds harsh but unfortunately it's an honest and accurate assessment based on his work.

On the review form I filled out I basically told him as much. AIGA told us to be brutally honest with these students so I was. I tried to be as friendly as possible but it's hard to come off that way when everything about the persons work is nothing short of crap. He just doesn't have it.

His work is a testimony to knowing tools of our trade but having zero creative skills to utilize them effectively. He is what I'd consider a 'Hack'. 15 yrs ago he would have never pursued this career because the level of craft needed to even enter into it demanded you could do a certain level of creative work. Well the cheap PC has removed that industry speed bump and we have all sorts of educated tool savy designers flooding the industry who 15 yrs ago would be flipping burgers instead.

I must admit I felt a little guilty writing the review only because I didn't like knowing that my opinion was going to hurt him. I don't like knowing my words will cause him pain. It's this part of doing these reviews that I really don't like. I understand it's necessary but it's certainly not fun.

Student Number 4 At least the fourth student made up for the past two books I had to let assault my eyes. I must say first off that this girls presense is very professional but at the same time approachable and friendly. She is the best designer I've personally seen come out of a local school in four years. Great design but more importantly great concepts behind the design. She is a 'Good Thinker' and thus a good designer. She has a good grasp of how things work and to top it off she is just a good communicator. She is going to go far. Reviewing her work was a true joy, I did have some good feedback about a handful of pieces and how she could improve and strengthen her book but I didn't have to address any of the basics her fundamentals were iron clad and dialed in with precision.

Some firm is going to nab her and be a better place for it.

So How Does This Happen?
You have two students one whose work is on par with a polished turd and another whose work is anything but student in quality? Both have the same tools, both had the same opportunity, both have the same parameters to work by in this industry yet one is good and the other bad. I am not talking personal taste, what I like is what I like and what you like is what you like. This wasn't a vague dislike anymore then it was a vague appeal I had for the other designer. This was an absolute situation and the proof was the work.

Schools do a good job of teaching students how to use the tools. What are the proper techniques and methods used to create the design. But the one thing that seperates the good from the bad seems to be the one area art schools lack in and that is 'Concepts' the art of thinking creatively. How do you teach a student to be creative? How do you teach them to be good thinkers? Can you even? Will our PC society allow us to call a spade a spade anymore as far as talent and skill goes? Can a design teacher just tell a student at some point "Look you need to give it up and find a new career because you are simply not good enough." Allowing these people to further self-deceive themselves into thinking they are legit designers is not only dishonest to them but it hurts our industry as a whole.

I am sure some will take offense at these comments? I know I probably haven't adequately relayed my feelings very well in this regard but I think most designers will understand what I am trying to say? Life is too short for bad design. I always come back to the same thing when I think about design in the larger sense. Creation itself is the ultimate example of good design, you don't find bad design in the animal kingdom. You might find strange beasts but thier purpose puts their seemingly bizarre design into context.

I am not pretending to have any sure fire answers but maybe teachers need to head off these type of portfolios in mid-stream before they waste their time and money pursuing a career that their tool-driven designs cannot help them succeed in?

Design Catch Phrases.

Over the past 18 years in this industry I've heard and experienced a lot of things design related. And as any good designer does I've learned to deal with most of them in a fun sarcastic way of course. The following is a brief collection of catch phrases that have evolved over time, some inspired by specific co-workers or ones gleaned from a conversation and elaborated on. They are fun design related quips you can start to use in your own circle of influence. Think of it as the 'Verbal Advantage' for designers. If you piss someone off and get fired though it's not my fault so use at your own risk.

You can't polish a turd!: If the concept or design is bad to begin with then no amount of revisions or repurposing will improve it. (My room mate in art school was fond of this saying and so am I.)

FRANKENSTEINING: The process of collecting graphic parts from different design options and compiling them into one new option. What you end up with is a design solution worthy of a mob carrying torches and pitch forks and not good design. (Inspired by weasel marketing people. Big surprise huh?)



Craptacular!: An easy one word critique used to relay your dislike of the work being presented, while still sounding up beat about it. (Inspired by art meeting that catered to the lowest common denominator.)

Serial Design Killers: What you start calling the marketing department when they keep shooting down every original idea or design? (See the pattern yet?)

The client may be King but they're not the Art Director: Listen to your client, take into consideration all their input, weigh the options, study the details, know the target audience and then if necessary ignore all of it and design what you think will work best.

Design-O-Saur: A designer who refuses to embrace digital design methods and trends and is constantly referring to the good old days of colored marker comps and border tape.

Horrawful: A design piece is so bad it cannot be classified into either 'Horrible' or 'Aweful' category by itself but rather a combination of both. In context you could use it in this manner. "Did you see that project he did? It was horrawful!"

Have a good design catch phrase? Post in the comments and I'll add it to this list.

You're Hired!

Over the past three years since I've started my own design business I've had a lot of art students contact me asking for various forms of advice. I am happy to share with them and I hope it helps in their pursuit in this industry. A while back someone on the HOW Design Forum asked for insight in regards to an interview they were going to have the next day. This caused me to think back when I interviewed after art school seeing as everyone else in the forum was already giving good solid advice about what to do, I decided to share with this person some real-world examples of what not to do that I personally experienced while interviewing.

What not to do Number 1: If your sick re-schedule it. I didn't and during the interview I was sniffling and playing yo-yo with post nasal drip. Then at the end of the interview I sneezed put my hand up to cover my face and deposited about 12 fluid ounces of snot in my right hand. Immediately after doing that the art director finished looking at my book, smiled and extended his hand to shake mine while standing up. Remember, I now have a hand full of snot so what should I do? I can't tell him "Sorry but my hand is full of snot right now." So in those few moments panic started to set in and as I stood I let my right hand slide against the padded cushion of the chair wiping the snot off in one constant motion as I then raised my arm and shook his hand hoping I had wiped it clean. Needless to say I didn't get the job and someone using the chair later got a nice slimy surprise.

What not to do Number 2: Never mention other design work you didn't do that you've seen in public that you didn't like or thought was poorly executed. Murphy's law dictates that the art director interviewing you when you comment on fore mentioned work will be the one who did that work you didn't like and they won't appreciate your design opinions.

What not to do Number 3: Put your portfolio in a safe secure place the night before you goto an interview. This prevents any cats from pissing on it to mark their territory i.e. your portfolio case. And since they do it during the night the urine dries thus making you unaware of the problem until your in your really hot car half way to the interview location and something starts smelling really hinky.

What you might not want to do Number 4: When a company shows enough interest in hiring you that they have a two hour phone interview and then pay to fly you to meet with them for another interview onsite, it's a good idea to dress professionally and not wear a t-shirt, shorts and sandals to the interview. Then again I got the job with Upper Deck so maybe it's ok to do that? I still get ribbed for that to this day.

Crappy Saturday.

A few months back my wife left for the weekend to attend a womens retreat so I played Mr. Mom with my two daughters. Saturday is normally the only day I ever sleep in so when my youngest woke me up at 7:30 am it was a bit difficult.

I promised them the night before I'd take them to the pancake house so we got dressed and headed off. During breakfast my daughters asked me to tell them a story about myself growing up, my oldest said "You know those funny stories where something happens to you. They make us laugh."

Well I thought to myself "It's been a while since something funny happened to me." Ok, that was a big mistake. I guess that was God's cue to add another one into my hopper because when we got home, opened the garage door and proceeded to walk inside we couldn't. Walk inside that is, the door was locked. We keep the key in a small utility drawer in the garage so I went to retrieve it and it wasn't there? Then I remembered my wife saying last week "I lost the key to the garage."

At this point I said "Uh oh. No key." and my daughter started whining how she was going to miss the birthday party she was invited too later that day and how the presents were inside the house. I decided to use my cell phone and call a friend and realized I didn't have it. And like one of those bad dreams where no one is around to help you, all our neighbors were gone for the weekend. Great. I then noticed my second story window open and considered climbing up but the pitch of our roof is such that I knew it would quickly go from humorous to dangerous so I axed that out. I then asked my daughter if she wanted to try and she said "No way!"

My youngest daughter said "We could goto our friends down the street and call." I shook my head and said "Ok lets go." Well it's about this time that a particular aspect to this story kicks in which could not have come at a worse time. My bowels chime in and say "I need to take a crap. Now!"

I walked about four steps and said "I can't go, I think I have diarrhea?" and then proceeded to grimace and dance around like I was standing on a hot plate. I told my daughter "Hurry go tell your friend to call a locksmith." She took off on her scooter. My other daughter is now pointing at me and laughing "You dance funny." "I am not dancing!" I said a little too sharply.

About 2 minutes go by and my bowels speak up again "Sorry but we aren't waiting. Open flood gate 3!" Panic sets in instantly and I look towards a shelf in our garage that contains cleaning supplies and toilet paper and hop over rip open the pack and grab a roll. I then take off as fast as I can run without allowing my butt cheeks to seperate and yell back at my daughter "Stay in the garage I am going to the backyard. Do not follow me!"

I make it 3/4 of the way and then experience what I can only assume is the same feeling a Depends user has and realize I didn't make it. So now I am hunched over behind our porch in the backyard in shock thinking "I hope my wife is having fun at the coast." I am hunched because if I stand up all the way neighbors can see me. So I proceed to take care of business. (Who said camping doesn't come in handy)

I come back around to the front of the house successfully purged, undies and all buried in a shallow unmarked grave in our back yard flower bed and hoping my daughter was a success in calling for help. She was and about ten minutes later the locksmith showed up opened our door in about 20 seconds and I paid him $45.



So now my daughters have a fun story about their goofy dad they can laugh about from now and for the rest of their lives. Sometimes I wonder why crap like this happens? Pardon the pun.

UPDATE TO STORY
Since posted this side order of my life, we have moved to a new house. So the obvious question is "Did you dig up the shorts?" Well, no I left them buried in the backyard for the new home owner to discover some day when he's doing yard work. I figure by that time it'll just resemble a very large dirty rubber band. The undies part will be long gone by then. Why are you making a funny looking face?

What does it mean?

I titled this doodle 'Self'. Not sure why? Didn't really think about it, but it seemed like a good fit at the time. The more I stare at this doodle the more it makes me wonder. "Why did I draw this? What does it mean?"



Diagnose me psychosis. This is a doodle I did about 2 years ago. One of my favorites. I have no idea what it means or why I drew it. Many times these doodles just come out like 'Brain Droppings'. No real sense to them just dark morsels from the recesses of my mind that spill out onto paper.

So I figured it would be fun to see what you guys think. What do you think it might mean? Any insightful comments regarding my doodle? What say you Dr. Freud?